Newest Tattoo (Thank's Eric!!)

I don't think that I can come up with words that are eloquent enough to describe how much my newest tattoo means to me- but I'll try.

April is Sexual Assault Awareness month, which hits home in a few ways. First, I question if I can even consider myself a "survivor". What did I survive? Second, do people know how many girls go through the pain of being taken advantage of in a terrifying situation where they say "no" and still get a guy's hand down their pants or up their shirt? Way too many.  I call it more of a "sexual mishap"- and in reality, if it doesn't feel right, it is not. If you're terrified to say "no" louder because you don't know what's going to happen next, it's assault. So, I should have done something more than escape. But, at least I got out.

Now, what's this have to do with my tattoo? Just wait. God is so cool how he does these things.

Back to my tattoo.

In March, I went on a mission trip with Antioch Community church called Revive. Revive is a week-long trip where we all give up our Spring Break and devote the entire trip to following Jesus and who he calls us to be- disciples. Each day includes outreach, where basically we just talk to people. That's truly all outreach is- making friends and trying to let people know that they are loved. And when they ask why we love total strangers, we then get to tell them about Jesus. So, when I was on Dickson Street for the 2nd day, I saw an opportunity and took it. I had been looking into getting the word "Adonai" tattooed on my body in Hebrew so I could use it as a testimony tattoo to tell people about Jesus. But then...God called me out. Basically, I was praying about that tattoo and I didn't feel peace about it. God was like "Yeah, Adonai is great and all- but how is that a testimony of my love for you? That's just my name" and in response, I was then very sure that the word "Adonai" was not my testimony.

So, let's reference the first part of this article about sexual assault/ mishap. Back in August, it happened to me. So what did I do? Tell a few people and then ignore it. Then, during the first week of February, I forgot to take my anxiety/depression medication. Why is this relevant? Well, suddenly, amongst other things, I started to absolutely spiral. It was a low point and probably one of the hardest emotional weeks I had since starting the medication a year ago. I was repeating the entire incident in my head on repeat, failing to do simple tasks at work, and had thoughts of ending a friendship that I cherish deeply. (I won't elaborate on the spiral, but I do want to assure you that I did start taking my medication as soon as I realized that I had been off of it.)

In that low place, I was laying in bed one day. In my bed, I heard God speak (which blew my mind) so clearly and say "Emma, I have more for you than this in the Garden of Life. You just have to go to it." and I was like "uh you sure?"

When I say that God has never given me a more clear "yes!" in my life, I mean it.

Therefore, I wanted to put that on my body forever. A clear time when Jesus delivered me to the garden instead of my shame and depression.

If we flash forward to me walking into Ice House Tattoo shop and showing Eric a few pictures of what I was thinking- he then tattooed the garden on me. I have never been more proud to confidently say that I love Jesus and I love the tattoo on my body that reminds me every single day that He is more and He has more for me.

So, thank you, Eric, at Ice House Tattoo in Fayetteville, Arkansas. You didn't just tattoo me, you put a daily reminder on my body that Jesus will speak to you in the lowest of times (if you open your heart to listen!).

The Lord will surely comfort Zion
    and will look with compassion on all her ruins;
he will make her deserts like Eden,
    her wastelands like the garden of the Lord.
Joy and gladness will be found in her,
    thanksgiving and the sound of singing.

Isaiah 51:3