I think that I am Jonah right now.
Now get this. God. The CREATOR of the ENTIRE UNIVERSE only wanted Jonah to go to this town called Nineveh, but Jonah went in a different direction entirely. God legit told Jonah to do something that was SO simple, and Jonah was like "Nah". And you know what? That decision had consequences. Jonah got onto a boat with some men, and God sent a storm into the seas. What does Jonah do? He goes to sleep (ignoring God once again). Then, the men all started to freak out, naturally. And then they asked if there was anything that they could do to stop this, and nonchalantly Jonah is like "oh yeah, just throw me off the boat. This is really my fault anyway." So, the men plead with God and ask him not to get angry that they're throwing this man off of the boat, and into the waters, Jonah goes.
Do you know what I find baffling? God STILL provides for Jonah. He provided a large fish to swallow him up for three days and three nights, and then the fish spit him out on dry land after that. So eventually Jonah goes to Nineveh and warns them that the city is going to be destroyed, right? But when the message gets to the king, he repents and the town turns away from their wickedness. Then, God decides to not destroy the town. You know what Jonah does? He gets angry with God and decides that he'd rather be dead than alive. God calls him out on it and says "Is it right for you to be angry?"
Jonah then goes and throws himself a pity party at the edge of the town to pout some more after that and then God STILL PROVIDES a leafy plant to grow over Jonah as he slept. Then, because Jonah did not tend to it or nurture it, the plant dies in the morning. And what does Jonah do? He gets UPSET. AGAIN. God then again calls him out on it and makes Jonah realize that he was more concerned about a little plant than he was about the lives of hundreds of people.
Do you notice a pattern here? God provides, Jonah gets upset, God provides again, Jonah gets upset... AGAIN.
How many times do we do that in our own lives? Honestly, God's only been wanting us to follow his commandments. (Seem's simple, right?) And you know what? I fail at that EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. And sometimes my choices have bigger consequences than others. I chose this summer to run away from God when he was there the entire time saying "go this direction" and I went the entire opposite. I got on the boat and pretended to not know why it was storming all around me. My storm included losing a friend who I had so much respect and adoration for because I chose to make bad choices and ignore everything that he had to say to me. My storm included losing myself a little bit because I wanted to satisfy myself with earthly things instead of Godly ones. And you know what? I'm hoping that moving back to college is like getting thrown off of that boat and into a large fish. I need my savior who ALWAYS provides, even when I don't realize it. I'm so grateful for God's overwhelming grace and his overwhelming love for us because most of the time I don't act like he's there at all.
We serve a God of mercies. That renew every single morning.
I'm blessed with the people in my life now, and I'm working so hard to be the girl who is on fire for Jesus, instead of the girl who is running away and fleeing to a different town.
Thanks for reading & staying on this wild journey with me.
-Emma Jane
