For the majority of my life, I have never been able to determine where "home" is. Is it in Austin where I was born? Is it in St. Louis where my childhood years were prime? Is it in the place where I spent the longest amount of time? Is it where I spent the majority of high school? Or is it where I am now? The question of "where's home for you?" Is such a difficult one to answer. All of this moving around, has made me realize a few realities.
The first one is that if I try to determine where my physical "home" is, I will be trapped in an overwhelming identity crisis. This is because there have been so many places where I have been, in my short life thus far. I have lived in a 2-story mega house, 2-bedroom apartment, and 3 bedroom houses. All of these places vary in size, shape, style, and location. They even vary in what state that they are placed in. I haven't gotten to go outside of the United States, but stay tuned- it's on my bucket place.
The second reality is that I have always been jealous of anyone who can proudly stand in the "12 years together" picture. Every person that I talk to usually tells me that growing up with the same people isn't all that great. However, I can't imagine anything better on some days. I guess it is true that we will always want what we cannot have. Regardless, I have been blessed to move around more than I have wanted. The benefits exceed my personal identity crisis. I have made so many friends, and they are all scattered across Texas and the United States. One of my favorite families lives in Massachusetts, for example. I've known them for about 10 years, and we all met in St. Louis. There are so many people who I've been blessed to meet and that become a part of my family, simply because I have not stayed put for very long.
The third reality is that I usually try to find the sense of "home" in a group of people. That group has changed over the years, obviously. I remember it really started my sophomore year of high school, when I was invited to a Christmas party with a friend I didn't know that well. That small friendship and small party grew into a large group of people who eventually called themselves "squad", and you can scroll further down into my blog to read posts about how amazing they all are. I had found my place in High School, and it was wonderful. However, once High school ended, I knew it was an end of a great era. We split apart, each doing our own things. Another group that I have found a sense of "home" in is a small group of 6 people from my high school, and we still talk on the daily. I am forever blessed by them as well. Now, in college, things aren't all that different, in terms of finding my place that I belong. I have a wonderful group of people who support and love me, and make sure I say out of trouble on top of that. Most of them have gone to Camp Lone Star, and for the one's who haven't- they're just as amazing.
My fourth reality is, that as amazing as these people I surround myself with are, that I have an eternal home that will never disappear. I know that God has a place for me up in Heaven when this is all over. Because of this, he has solved my lack of placement in this earthly world, because he's taken care of my heavenly seat with Him. Because of this, I have an eternal Identity in Christ and His Love.
Have a blessed week :)
Emma Jane
p.s. I've been jamming to Simple Gospel by United Pursuit (check it out!!)
