Some writing

(So this little story below is fiction. I think Society is pretty messed up- telling you that you've gotta be a certain weight and your hair has to look good and how your value should be based on what others think. It's all pretty screwy & I thank God he doesn't work like society )


The hollowness swallowed her up as if the entire room was collapsing. She could only focus on the steady heartbeat flowing throughout her veins. 'So this is what it feels like to be dying' She thought quietly, as if whispering it in her inner thoughts wouldn't make it real. "You're going to be okay." A distant voice from above shouted out, even though to her it was barely audible. She could hear someone crying obnoxiously in the background  as they all stared at her anorexic body. The open cuts on her wrists were clearly visible, as well as the ones on her thighs. Nobody, not one person, knew how she was feeling- not even her. "Boom, boom, boom, boom" Her heart still worked for now, even though she felt as though blood was flowing out continuously. "I can't" She whispered, just loud enough for the toddler standing next to the hospital bed to grab her hand and squeeze it tightly. "I love you." The boy whispered to the society- stricken girl. "The world doesn't." She quietly got out before the medication and drugs caused her to fall into a deep sleep.

Blessed.

I'm really blessed, I truly am. My friends and I go out to eat every Friday, and let me tell you something, I'ts the highlight of my week. These people in my life are really quite amazing. This summer was pretty rough, even though God was in control then, like he is now. I feel as though we only praise God (I'm guilty) but we only praise him and come to him when things are looking up. So often during the bad times, we forget he's there at all actually. We say "Well if you're here, why's this happening to me right now?" Sadly, so many people turn away from him when things get rough. He's like that mega-knows-the-future-parent who still lets stuff happen in life. Believe it or not, he know's it's going to happen to you, just like when Adam and Eve were in the Garden of Eden. God isn't stupid at all, he knew that they were going to eat the fruit because we're all pretty sinful. He let it happen anyways. Adam and Eve still lived a pretty decent life after the whole exile thing though, right? God still took care of them. I believe that he's taking care of me, like with my amazing group of friends in this new town. God gives us so many blessings, and these people, yeah they're a huge one.

I'm reminded every day that God knows what he's doing and he's been taking care of me for my entire life. I'm so blessed.

-Emma Jane :)

Blessings are Basically Everywhere

So today, my best friend from my previous town texted me and told me that she would be in a town near me today (only a 30 minute drive) . Moral or story, we hung out for 5 hours. It was truly a God thing, He's so amazing and I really have been blessed today. God is in control and knows what he's doing. Ya'll, he's got this in the bag. "He's got the whole world in his hands, he's got the whole wide world in his hands, he's got the whole world in his hands, he's got the whole world in his hands. He's got you and me sister in his hands, he's got you and me sister in his hands, he's got you and me sister in his hands, he's got the whole world in his hands" You know this Sunday School song? It's pretty catchy and cheesy, but it has a great point. He has the entire world in his hands, including you and me. Blessings come in big and small packages and opportunities, remember that. God will always take care of you no matter what society is telling you. #TrustInHim

-Emma Jane-

Doors

Lately, I've come to discover that God opens some doors and closes others. The hard part is figuring out which one is which. Well, obvious a closed door for me would be the whole moving thing. That's a for sure closed door. I mean like stuff happens in life and sometimes we don't have the slightest power to control it. It's something that sometimes drives the control freak inside of me crazy. Personally, I've learned that when you give all of the control over to God, life gets easier. It gets much better, and your happiness increases.

Personally, football games are hard for me because of the homesickness that comes with every single one. I haven't figured out the blessing in that feeling yet- but it will come to me since our God is amazing beyond words. He really is. He knows what he's doing, even If I personally feel pretty awful at an event geared towards having fun. He's probably thinking "I have plans for her, she's just gonna have to tough it out for a while even though I'm watching over her." I don't know, I wish I knew what was in his mind, but he's so great and powerful that fathoming it is nearly impossible. You know what's amazing as well? There are so so so many people in this beautiful world that He created himself. And you know what? He cares about all of us. We aren't very reverent most of the time, realizing how powerful God actually is, you know? He's so powerful and he's so amazing that it's so hard to believe that he loves every single one of us with his entire heart. Well, he's got to have a whole lot of hearts or something. I don't know. I only know that even when I'm feeling down and upset about my control or my town or something that I can't change, He's always going to be there. God doesn't give up on us, he's the only one who doesn't, honestly.

 I just can't imagine or wrap my head around how much he loves us all because man, I've screwed up.  I've screwed up and hurt many people tonight and even though "We love because He first loved us" (1 John 4:19) It just gets harder and harder to love the ones who love us even. If we love because He loved us, than who's there to hurt? Hypothetically, this makes sense. In reality, I'm a screw up. I sin like a whole bunch like all of the time. Nobody's perfect, really. It's true, in case you didn't know that. I thank God because of how loving and nurturing and forgiving he is. We have an amazing and forgiving God and that's pretty great- so great that words can't even be used to describe it.

Oh, and my playing in band is getting better. It was rough and I was pretty much terrible, as you can see in my former posts, but I'm caught up to speed and I can feel myself getting better slowly. Just an off-topic note there. Kay, cool.

Basically, God opens and closes doors in your life constantly, you've gotta keep an eye out to figure out which ones those are. Oh, and God is in control and forgiving and just pretty much amazing.

Emma Jane

Romans 5:3-5