I've always liked the catchy Christian Phrases. These include "turn your mess into a message" and "make your test your testimony". You know what I'm talking about now? I think I like them because they hold so much truth. I firmly believe that there's a point in our lives where we are really tested, and we get tricked into thinking that we're the only ones struggling. And that it's impossible for someone else to be struggling with things like depression, anxiety, loneliness, losing someone, a bad breakup, low self-esteem, jealousy, giving into lust, and everything in between. I also firmly believe that as believers or nonbelievers, we need to talk about these things, whether it's confiding in one close person, writing in a private journal, or publishing them on a blog site. If we're honest, this blog started because of my pain and has blossomed to talking about healing from it.
If I have learned anything, it is that healing from your struggle is not a linear process. There are days where you feel on top of the mountain, and then there are days where you are so far down in the valley that you cannot possibly see a way out. However, I also have learned that sometimes the only solution for something that seems impossible to solve in your life is to pray about it. I know that it's hard to pray about something that seems impossible to fix, but our God is the God of miracles. And he's also really really good at knowing our hearts which means that he also knows when our hearts have stopped trusting him. Mark 9:14-29 is about a father and son where the son is possessed by an evil spirit. Jesus comes up to a crowd and the man brings his son up to Jesus, explaining that this evil spirit has been inside of him for his whole life. In verse 22 it says "It (the evil spirit) has often thrown him (the son) into fire or water to kill him. But if you (Jesus) can do anything, take pity on us and help us." Do you notice anything strange about that verse? It sounds like a father begging Jesus for help. However, Jesus picks up on something very specific. In verse 23 he sasses back and says "If you can'?" said Jesus. "Everything is possible for one who believes." Basically, Jesus calls the man out for doubting him. Therefore, the man replies in verse 24 "I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!"
Every time I read this passage, I get something new out of it. At first, we read it and laugh at the father. Because in our minds, we say "Jesus is literally standing right there. Why does he even question it?" But, how many times have we question God's ability to provide for us and heal us in our situations? How many times are we the boy living our entire lives needing Christ to heal us, but have something in the way (such as an earthly desire, reluctance to let go, or jealous heart) from humbling ourselves to receive that healing?
Most of the time I feel like I am the father, who looks Jesus dead in the eyes and doesn't believe that he can do amazing work in my life. Other times, I believe I am the son and have something like an unbelieving father standing in my way. At the end of the day, don't they stand in each other's way? The son is the reason that the father is having a hard time believing, and the doubting father is the reason that the son cannot be healed yet. So at the same time, our struggles are the things that we have a hard time talking to God about and that cause us to doubt his ability to take care of us. And we need to believe that our problems are able to be solved by Christ, instead of questioning his ability to do so. Sometimes, the hardest part is wondering the how. Which truly is out of our control, no matter how much we try to take that control.
The overwhelmingly amazing news is that we really don't have to worry about how Christ is going to do His thing. In the story, Jesus brought out the evil spirit of the boy right in front of the father on his own will- not because the father told him to (aside from the begging). However, sometimes the answer from God isn't immediate. And so we think that there's no answer and no help at all, or we demand one that is immediate. But I'm begging you, please don't lose hope. God will take care of you in HIS timing, just like he took care of our sins by sending his son to die on the cross for us in HIS timing.
Anyways, my twitter, facebook, and instagram DM's are always open for anyone who wants to hear how amazing Jesus is!! He's really out here working you guys, so maybe sometimes we're just too blinded by focusing on our issues to see it clearly. If you don't know what to pray this week, "Help me overcome my unbelief" is always a great place to start. So turn your test into a testimony because I'd love to hear all about it.
Until I'm inspired again,
Emma Jane
p.s. I know I said I was reading "single. dating. engaged. married" and that I would finish it, but I haven't had the time. But I promise one day I will finish and I will definitely write about it.
