Before

So, I'll probably be doing a segment called "after" like in Looking for Alaska. However, my story may or may not be a tragedy. I guess we'll find out. Prom is tomorrow. Honestly, I'm not sure what to expect. People seem to fantasize about this night and romanticize the entire event. I'm not sure what I think about it yet. I'm not expecting the night to be like a movie moment where the boy of my dreams admits his love for me and we dance all night long. I don't expect to stand out of the crowd, or have any of these strangers realize that I exist more in a pretty dress than I do in sweat pants. I think the entire idea that you're someone else in a different outfit is completely ridiculous. I think prom is going to symbolize my ability to be confident in who I am. I want to love myself in my princess dress. I want to love myself when I'm in my sweatpants. I want to love myself when I'm sweating at the gym. All I want from prom is the permission from me to love myself on all of the days. I know it's asking this night for a lot, but I think it can be done. The scariest part is the high that comes out of all of this prom day. Getting ready is really exciting, watching your whole outfit come together. Then you get to go out with your friends beforehand and have a blast. Then you keep having a blast and you're carefree. But what happens when it's over? The happiness high runs out, and then what? There's the pictures to stare at until the next year when it happens all over again, right? Right. Therefore, to ask this night for more than I want would be atrocious and such a silly thought. I don't know what I expect, but I know what I don't want. But I know what I do want too. The "wants" are set, but the expectations are being kept low. I'm incredibly blessed to have friends to go with to this romanticized night, full of smiles, laughs, and plenty of pictures. Sorry for my lack of faith in the movies :)

Emma Jane

ps. percussion bash was lit tonight