So. I'm gonna talk for a little bit, then explain this adorable picture that looks like it was stolen from a greeting card. Quite frankly, this Thanksgiving break has been really good to me. Well, for the most part. I was forced to feel a lot of things at once. Knowing me, I feel everything so deeply. Which is a blessing and curse in itself. During the happy days, I got to see family, friends, and tour a college. Which were all phenomenal. The sad days? Those were tough, but at least I had one of my friends with me for two days straight. She kept me going, kept my thoughts on the more "positive track". However, sometimes it's rough jumping old hurdles. They come back to haunt you, and suddenly you're running that race over and over again, just like you were 6 months ago or even 6 days ago. Considering I learned something that took a small hit to an old wound. A small step forward is easily thwarted by a million steps back. One comment can do it, as well as an old memory replaying itself in your head. I don't think anybody said that it would ever be easy- this life that we're forced to live every day. I don't think it's ever going to be easy- knowing I traded the sadness for the anxiety. Is it fair? Maybe not. Speaking of, along with those bad days, when I have them, I forget to remember that someone's there to care about me. I mean, In the back of my head, I know it. In the front of my head, there's not much telling me that I'm loved. (This is the "feeling deeply" part I was mentioning). But you know what? Looking at that picture, I keep my eyes focused on it. Because in the moment it was taken, I can't remember one negative thought crossing my mind that day. Looking back, I'm like "Oh gosh, I hope he didn't think I was too heavy to carry". But besides that, I was smiling widely. And sometimes it's okay. Well, the whole smiling thing is okay, but I feel like if I'll smile too much, I'll become addicted to this weird version of happiness and days like that. Which strangely enough, I may have. But it's okay. These people in this picture keep me going. Honestly. They're all part of our "crew/ squad" and I couldn't be more grateful. They pick me up when I'm down. Because it happens more often than not (obviously, since I write about it on here). I'm not sure if there's anything to learn from this break, but it was good to me. It's okay to let the fear creep in, but not okay to go about thinking nobody cares about you. Find out who keeps you going. If you have it all together, try to keep someone else going.
There's this twitter trend right now where people are posting the hashtag #MentalHealthPosi and what they've been dealing with, along with attached selfies of them (and other things). It made me think. Why is everyone so mean to one another? Everyone has their own battles, and if nobody talks about them, what will happen? Why can't we all just get along? I dunno, it made me see things differently. I have this notion where I can only seem to think that I'm the only one feeling like this, but I'm not alone. And if you read this, you're not alone either. Even on your worst days, don't forget to be there for people if they need you. With all this media, it's easy to tell if someone's having a rough day. If you notice, try to make another human smile. What will it hurt? Everyone needs a good smile and laugh every once in awhile. We all fight battles. Don't forget that :)
Until I'm inspired again,
Emma Jane
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