I'm a hypocrite

Hi, so yes, it's me again. Today has been pretty normal, thanks for asking. I just wanted to say, that I'm a total hypocrite. In my last blog post I gave you plenty of useful tips to stay healthy for the holidays. I, personally did not follow then whatsoever. Therefore, use all of those pretty great tips to slim down after the holidays. Ive lost a few pounds this week, so yay! If you're in the struggle bus with your weight, don't give up! If you're struggling with anything actually, don't give up. It's going to be a long long road, but God's got your back. I know everyone has their own personal battles going on every single day. I know that the road gets super tough. I know this. Seriously, y'all. Don't lose hope because you have an all-powerful, living hope in Jesus. He died for you to take away your sins and then he rose again. That's pretty incredible. If Jesus like gave up on us, what would that look like? We wouldn't be in a happy place right now, that's for sure. But guys, I know it's hard to want to live or do anything when you're in a dark place but Jesus really does love you. He brings peace and clarity into our lives and even though it's hard to see sometimes, he's always there-shining.

I don't really have much to say today but Jesus loves you wholeheartedly.

Emma Jane

Thanksgiving

What's thanksgiving without a blogpost? Boring, right? Well, in all honesty, this year's been pretty tough. I'm thankful for so much because a year ago, I don't think I could've imagined living in this town. I'm uber thankful for my family because even though the chaotic move, they stayed pretty strong. My family knows how to make me laugh like an idiot and smile like I have forever to be happy. I couldn't be more grateful, seriously. I'm also super thankful for my friends in this town and in the previous one. They seriously are the best. I'm verrrryyyy grateful for the Stuart family. They took care of me for 6 weeks while my family was living in my new town while I remained in the old. They are the sweetest people and they took me in willingly. That was a super stressful time in my life and they were just fantastic. I'm super grateful to live in a country where I can worship my God freely. I'm also beyond grateful for our forgiving God. I know that I screw up a whole lot, I mean a lot. God loves us unconditionally even when we really don't deserve it. We don't deserve any of this, I mean he sent his son to die on a cross for us. Y'all, we are sinners and he loves us so much. I'm just really blessed. When times get tough, we have loving people in our life and an amazing God. It's truly amazing how things work out in the end because God sends so many people into our lives who love us. Just remember that you're loved by the people around you and by our God. Happy Thanksgiving!

Emma Jane

Health Tips for the Holidays

So, as you probably would've guessed, the holidays are just around the corner! To people like me, that's pretty terrifying because all I see are the many calories floating around everything, shrinking my clothes. If you're a health nut like me, I say we try to make ourselves accountable for what we eat. My only solution to this health-bombing holiday season is to really record everything you eat. I use the app "My Plate" to record nearly everything I do. If you're too lazy or don't have a smartphone, go to the store right now. I'm not joking. Buy yourself a spiral notebook and on the very front cover, label it "FOOD I'M EATING" or something along those lines. Keep that notebook with you at all times and write down everything that you put into your body. I found out that our bodies work like a well-oiled machine. Whatever we put into our bodies determines how we perform with them. Make sense? If I eat 3 slices of apple pie, my near softball game probably won't be played as well as if I had eaten carrots and hummus. (This is hypothetical because I don't play sports) You see what I mean, right? Also, to stay fit during this holiday season, HIT THE GYM UP. If you're not part of a gym, youtube workout videos work wonders as well. I prefer the yoga ones. Always hit up Jillian Michaels. If you find yourself at walmart because you need the notebook, go into that little section of the store nobody likes-the workout gear section. Jillian has plenty of DVDs to choose from. I like the 30 Day Shred one, but that's just me. Also, to stay fit during this calorie-infused month, plan ahead. Plan your meals way ahead of time and already have what you're going to eat written down somewhere (preferably the notebook or app) create a menu for the day filled with high-protein, low-carb food. Trust me, if the food you want to eat isn't on your personal daily menu, don't eat it. For extra motivation, type up your menu for the day along with the calorie count on each food item. Then, print several copies of that menu and put it all over your house. Especially on the fridge. As humans, we're impulse eaters and we like to grab things from the fridge and not think about them again. THIS IS NOT GOOD. Impulse eating is a cause of weight gain. Speaking of, holiday movies are all the buzz right now, am I correct? When you're watching tv, it's almost an instinct to want to be eating as well. Ask yourself this question: are you hungry or bored? Try chewing gum while watching tv (pick that up at the store when you're there as well) Also, to make this calorie counting (or food tracking) thing fun, write stuff down in fun colors. Grab different colored markers, pens, crayons, or colored pencils and create a fun menu to look at. You could even make veggies one color, fruits another, proteins one, and so on. That way, you can see what types of food you're constantly eating. Remember, everything is good in moderation. If you find your menu full of pink (lets pretend pink stands for carbs/ bread/ sugary stuff) then CHANGE it. Maybe try adding in some greens or blues or reds or yellows. You feel me? Make your menu look like a rainbow, not a black and white movie. Speaking of rainbows, eat colorful foods. Specifically, brighten your plate up with fruits and vegetables. While you're at the store anyway, check out that produce man! Usually the store Aldi has really great prices on produce, and Walmart will price match. This way, your body and budget stay clean for the holidays. If you tend to go to holiday parties, offer to bring a dish full of health benefits. Place it on the snack table, get a few treats, and then get AS FAR AWAY AS POSSIBLE from that little table. People can consume up to 1000 calories by mindlessly grabbing food off of that devil table. Find old friends to catch up with, play on your phone, read a book. I don't care, but stay away from the food. Make only ONE plate. Snacks aren't meant for second helpings.

Well, that's all I've got for now. Have a happy healthy holiday! :)

Emma Jane

Decisions

We've all made some pretty bad decisions at one point or another. Am I right? Decisions are like dominos. When you make one, it influences what happens next in your life. For example, If I decide not to study, I'll probably fail the test. If I make the decision to study and do my homework, I'll probably pass. Every decision that you make in your life is an important one, whether you realize this or not. It's a scary thing how much impact the smallest things have on our lives. In the world of dieting, If I decide to eat a cookie or two every day for a month, I'm most likely going to gain some weight. If I decide to run two miles every day for a month, I'll probably be in better shape. Most decisions aren't extreme either though. We decide what we put into our bodies every day. It's scary and a sad reality that sometimes what we inject into ourselves isn't good for us at all. Did you know that sugar is 8 times as addicting than cocaine? Yeah, I know. It's pretty scary. Sugar is an addiction people! If you decide to overdose, your body usually doesn't get very happy. OR you have a "sugar high" and then crash. Hmmmm I wonder where the term "sugar high" comes from??!? SUGAR IS LIKE A DRUG. Okay, sorry for the little rant there. It's just some scary stuff. Decisions, yes, that's where we were here. First off, don't do drugs. Avoid them at all costs. Ya'll I'm not joking. Please decide not to do any kind of illegal drugs, that is for sure not a good decision whatsoever. A good decision is going to church though. If yall wanna get high, get on that Jesus high. Praising God is never ever a bad thing. I love being on a Jesus high because you never have to get off. Jesus' love is eternal and he loves you sooo much! "We love because he first loved us." (1 John 4:19) I don't know about ya'll, but that's pretty fantastic. Did you know he sent his only son to come down and DIE for our sins? Now think about this, would you send your son to be killed??? (If you don't have a child yet, think hypothetically) I probably wouldn't- hypothetically speaking. I'm only a teeanger with lots of words in my head, children are wayyyyy down the road for me!

Also, with this whole decision thing. Good decisions lead to dreams coming true ya'll. If I was like "screw it." and got drunk every weekend- how would that help me get into UNT or UTD or Concordia???? You see, that bad decision would lead to destructiveness and counterproductivity. I feel like yeah, it's high school- you're going to screw up a few times, but don't do stupid things on purpose that will only hurt your future. I know that I make some poor choices sometimes, but guess what? I have a forgiving God! It's amazing how that works.  So yes, overall, just make good choices because your future will be bright and Jesus loves you always.

Relationships

I feel as though when you're in high school, a relationship is pretty important to you. It could be friendships, peer- relationships, or like romantic ones. God knows who's supposed to be in your life and who's not. I feel as though over the years He's put people in my life that I know are there for a purpose. I think God has also taken some away from me too because He's Omniscient. Since, he's all knowing, why do we have so much trouble putting this stuff into his hands? I don't know, just a little thought for today. God knows who's supposed to be in your life and who's not. He does these things for a purpose. Well, I'll probably post later but just remember that God knows what he's doing all the time.

Self- Image

Personally, I have a strong hatred towards society. In our society, being broken and sad is so normal now. In society, self-harm is a "thing". In society, skinny is the only "beautiful" thing out there. In society, everything that is right to us, is wrong. I think this is the problem. On the whole brokenness thing, there's so many people that are sad and I think 95% of the people are sad because they don't love themselves or love the life they're living. I was in a state like that a while ago but I realized something- my God loves me just the way I am. He created each one of us a certain way for a reason, you know? I know that he uses our weaknesses for greatness and our strengths to help others. Okay so with the self harm thing. Society deems so many things upon young women. We're required to act so beautiful and sophisticated and look a certain way and if we don't do that, we're not socially excepted. Self-harm, is a result of not enough love in my personal opinion. It all ties down to the way people love themselves. I believe depression definitely is a result from this, resulting in a state of self harm and pain. I also believe that self-harm or eating- disorders is a form of coping with certain things. Sometimes life is so hard and we believe that dying or hurting ourselves is way easier than living and it would make everyone's life easier if we were gone or hurt too. But this is not true, y'all.

I love having a God who loves me unconditionally because even when I'm thinking "I'm not good enough for society" He's just like that huge quilt of greatness and forgiveness wrapped around me every day.

Okay, beauty is the next topic here. I don't think the society's "beautiful" people exist really. Now, I know it seems quite strange to say that because of course, "beautiful" people are real, right? So often we hear that word and immediately come up with some model or people like Emma Watson who we deem as perfect. People though can be creative, athletic, outgoing, friendly, artistic, shy, blunt, full of smiles, tearful, scared, and many more. Why should somebody come and tell us which one of these traits get to fit into the category of "beauty"? Seriously, it's kind of crazy. It's also crazy how much our God loves us anyways no matter which one of those traits we are. We're all going to die eventually, so why should we waste our time trying to blend in with the rest of the crowd?

This is all a little scattered tonight, but you're getting my point-right? God is really, really, really, amazing because he loves you no matter what. Sometimes I think it's hard to love yourself when you thing about all of those terrible things you've done because you might think "How can anyone forgive me?" Our God, yeah, he forgives you for anything. It's pretty great considering how much I know that I personally mess up. God is also amazing because he puts so many blessings in your life when you feel as though you've got none. I'm so blessed with the friends I have in this new town, but that's just me. I hope y'all realize that God does know what he's doing, like he really does. Life gets so much easier with God in the master plans. He loves you. He loves me. He loves everyone. It's so amazing, really. I can't even love a lot of the people in this school, and our God loves everyone.

So sorry it was kinda out there and all over the place tonight,

I love you so much because y'all have been here through everything.

Much love again, Emma Jane.

Some writing

(So this little story below is fiction. I think Society is pretty messed up- telling you that you've gotta be a certain weight and your hair has to look good and how your value should be based on what others think. It's all pretty screwy & I thank God he doesn't work like society )


The hollowness swallowed her up as if the entire room was collapsing. She could only focus on the steady heartbeat flowing throughout her veins. 'So this is what it feels like to be dying' She thought quietly, as if whispering it in her inner thoughts wouldn't make it real. "You're going to be okay." A distant voice from above shouted out, even though to her it was barely audible. She could hear someone crying obnoxiously in the background  as they all stared at her anorexic body. The open cuts on her wrists were clearly visible, as well as the ones on her thighs. Nobody, not one person, knew how she was feeling- not even her. "Boom, boom, boom, boom" Her heart still worked for now, even though she felt as though blood was flowing out continuously. "I can't" She whispered, just loud enough for the toddler standing next to the hospital bed to grab her hand and squeeze it tightly. "I love you." The boy whispered to the society- stricken girl. "The world doesn't." She quietly got out before the medication and drugs caused her to fall into a deep sleep.