Relationships

I feel as though when you're in high school, a relationship is pretty important to you. It could be friendships, peer- relationships, or like romantic ones. God knows who's supposed to be in your life and who's not. I feel as though over the years He's put people in my life that I know are there for a purpose. I think God has also taken some away from me too because He's Omniscient. Since, he's all knowing, why do we have so much trouble putting this stuff into his hands? I don't know, just a little thought for today. God knows who's supposed to be in your life and who's not. He does these things for a purpose. Well, I'll probably post later but just remember that God knows what he's doing all the time.

Self- Image

Personally, I have a strong hatred towards society. In our society, being broken and sad is so normal now. In society, self-harm is a "thing". In society, skinny is the only "beautiful" thing out there. In society, everything that is right to us, is wrong. I think this is the problem. On the whole brokenness thing, there's so many people that are sad and I think 95% of the people are sad because they don't love themselves or love the life they're living. I was in a state like that a while ago but I realized something- my God loves me just the way I am. He created each one of us a certain way for a reason, you know? I know that he uses our weaknesses for greatness and our strengths to help others. Okay so with the self harm thing. Society deems so many things upon young women. We're required to act so beautiful and sophisticated and look a certain way and if we don't do that, we're not socially excepted. Self-harm, is a result of not enough love in my personal opinion. It all ties down to the way people love themselves. I believe depression definitely is a result from this, resulting in a state of self harm and pain. I also believe that self-harm or eating- disorders is a form of coping with certain things. Sometimes life is so hard and we believe that dying or hurting ourselves is way easier than living and it would make everyone's life easier if we were gone or hurt too. But this is not true, y'all.

I love having a God who loves me unconditionally because even when I'm thinking "I'm not good enough for society" He's just like that huge quilt of greatness and forgiveness wrapped around me every day.

Okay, beauty is the next topic here. I don't think the society's "beautiful" people exist really. Now, I know it seems quite strange to say that because of course, "beautiful" people are real, right? So often we hear that word and immediately come up with some model or people like Emma Watson who we deem as perfect. People though can be creative, athletic, outgoing, friendly, artistic, shy, blunt, full of smiles, tearful, scared, and many more. Why should somebody come and tell us which one of these traits get to fit into the category of "beauty"? Seriously, it's kind of crazy. It's also crazy how much our God loves us anyways no matter which one of those traits we are. We're all going to die eventually, so why should we waste our time trying to blend in with the rest of the crowd?

This is all a little scattered tonight, but you're getting my point-right? God is really, really, really, amazing because he loves you no matter what. Sometimes I think it's hard to love yourself when you thing about all of those terrible things you've done because you might think "How can anyone forgive me?" Our God, yeah, he forgives you for anything. It's pretty great considering how much I know that I personally mess up. God is also amazing because he puts so many blessings in your life when you feel as though you've got none. I'm so blessed with the friends I have in this new town, but that's just me. I hope y'all realize that God does know what he's doing, like he really does. Life gets so much easier with God in the master plans. He loves you. He loves me. He loves everyone. It's so amazing, really. I can't even love a lot of the people in this school, and our God loves everyone.

So sorry it was kinda out there and all over the place tonight,

I love you so much because y'all have been here through everything.

Much love again, Emma Jane.

Some writing

(So this little story below is fiction. I think Society is pretty messed up- telling you that you've gotta be a certain weight and your hair has to look good and how your value should be based on what others think. It's all pretty screwy & I thank God he doesn't work like society )


The hollowness swallowed her up as if the entire room was collapsing. She could only focus on the steady heartbeat flowing throughout her veins. 'So this is what it feels like to be dying' She thought quietly, as if whispering it in her inner thoughts wouldn't make it real. "You're going to be okay." A distant voice from above shouted out, even though to her it was barely audible. She could hear someone crying obnoxiously in the background  as they all stared at her anorexic body. The open cuts on her wrists were clearly visible, as well as the ones on her thighs. Nobody, not one person, knew how she was feeling- not even her. "Boom, boom, boom, boom" Her heart still worked for now, even though she felt as though blood was flowing out continuously. "I can't" She whispered, just loud enough for the toddler standing next to the hospital bed to grab her hand and squeeze it tightly. "I love you." The boy whispered to the society- stricken girl. "The world doesn't." She quietly got out before the medication and drugs caused her to fall into a deep sleep.

Blessed.

I'm really blessed, I truly am. My friends and I go out to eat every Friday, and let me tell you something, I'ts the highlight of my week. These people in my life are really quite amazing. This summer was pretty rough, even though God was in control then, like he is now. I feel as though we only praise God (I'm guilty) but we only praise him and come to him when things are looking up. So often during the bad times, we forget he's there at all actually. We say "Well if you're here, why's this happening to me right now?" Sadly, so many people turn away from him when things get rough. He's like that mega-knows-the-future-parent who still lets stuff happen in life. Believe it or not, he know's it's going to happen to you, just like when Adam and Eve were in the Garden of Eden. God isn't stupid at all, he knew that they were going to eat the fruit because we're all pretty sinful. He let it happen anyways. Adam and Eve still lived a pretty decent life after the whole exile thing though, right? God still took care of them. I believe that he's taking care of me, like with my amazing group of friends in this new town. God gives us so many blessings, and these people, yeah they're a huge one.

I'm reminded every day that God knows what he's doing and he's been taking care of me for my entire life. I'm so blessed.

-Emma Jane :)

Blessings are Basically Everywhere

So today, my best friend from my previous town texted me and told me that she would be in a town near me today (only a 30 minute drive) . Moral or story, we hung out for 5 hours. It was truly a God thing, He's so amazing and I really have been blessed today. God is in control and knows what he's doing. Ya'll, he's got this in the bag. "He's got the whole world in his hands, he's got the whole wide world in his hands, he's got the whole world in his hands, he's got the whole world in his hands. He's got you and me sister in his hands, he's got you and me sister in his hands, he's got you and me sister in his hands, he's got the whole world in his hands" You know this Sunday School song? It's pretty catchy and cheesy, but it has a great point. He has the entire world in his hands, including you and me. Blessings come in big and small packages and opportunities, remember that. God will always take care of you no matter what society is telling you. #TrustInHim

-Emma Jane-

Doors

Lately, I've come to discover that God opens some doors and closes others. The hard part is figuring out which one is which. Well, obvious a closed door for me would be the whole moving thing. That's a for sure closed door. I mean like stuff happens in life and sometimes we don't have the slightest power to control it. It's something that sometimes drives the control freak inside of me crazy. Personally, I've learned that when you give all of the control over to God, life gets easier. It gets much better, and your happiness increases.

Personally, football games are hard for me because of the homesickness that comes with every single one. I haven't figured out the blessing in that feeling yet- but it will come to me since our God is amazing beyond words. He really is. He knows what he's doing, even If I personally feel pretty awful at an event geared towards having fun. He's probably thinking "I have plans for her, she's just gonna have to tough it out for a while even though I'm watching over her." I don't know, I wish I knew what was in his mind, but he's so great and powerful that fathoming it is nearly impossible. You know what's amazing as well? There are so so so many people in this beautiful world that He created himself. And you know what? He cares about all of us. We aren't very reverent most of the time, realizing how powerful God actually is, you know? He's so powerful and he's so amazing that it's so hard to believe that he loves every single one of us with his entire heart. Well, he's got to have a whole lot of hearts or something. I don't know. I only know that even when I'm feeling down and upset about my control or my town or something that I can't change, He's always going to be there. God doesn't give up on us, he's the only one who doesn't, honestly.

 I just can't imagine or wrap my head around how much he loves us all because man, I've screwed up.  I've screwed up and hurt many people tonight and even though "We love because He first loved us" (1 John 4:19) It just gets harder and harder to love the ones who love us even. If we love because He loved us, than who's there to hurt? Hypothetically, this makes sense. In reality, I'm a screw up. I sin like a whole bunch like all of the time. Nobody's perfect, really. It's true, in case you didn't know that. I thank God because of how loving and nurturing and forgiving he is. We have an amazing and forgiving God and that's pretty great- so great that words can't even be used to describe it.

Oh, and my playing in band is getting better. It was rough and I was pretty much terrible, as you can see in my former posts, but I'm caught up to speed and I can feel myself getting better slowly. Just an off-topic note there. Kay, cool.

Basically, God opens and closes doors in your life constantly, you've gotta keep an eye out to figure out which ones those are. Oh, and God is in control and forgiving and just pretty much amazing.

Emma Jane

Romans 5:3-5

Just a little update

Any-hoo, as the title says, this is just a little update on the whole Band Camp thing. I've recently been assigned to the Vibes (like a xylophone-kinda) CLICK HERE TO SEE A PICTURE . If you checked it out, it has like keys and stuff with notes and stuff like that. For the last two years I played the marching bass drum. CLICK HERE TO SEE ANOTHER PICTURE  Now, this drum doesn't have notes and stuff. You just kindly get to hit it over and over again in different rhythms.

Now, knowing this very valid difference in instruments, my first week of trying to play the other instrument at camp well-stunk. It turns out that reading music quickly is a good quality to have. It also turns out that it's not a quality that I particularly have at the moment. Well, that, and figuring out which notes go with what keys. It's all kind of one big, ball of coordination (I probably didn't spell that right). My spelling has been a tad off lately, so sorry. But moving your hands along with all of this is pretty difficult too- if you're wondering. let's just say that the entire thing is hard. Well, harder than I thought it was going to be.

Well, to sum it all up for you- I really struggled this past week. I trust God knows what he's doing though because before you can see the rainbow, He lets you walk through the storm. Right now, yes, that's the storm part of this. My mother also told me some analogy (Pretty sure that's the wrong word, maybe this is a metaphor) but anyways, a butterfly has to struggle in the cocoon(Is that spelled right?)  before it can come out and let it's wings dry and fly and become beautiful and yeah. So maybe I'm like the butterfly right now and I'm struggling, but one day I'll eventually get good at this stuff and be beautiful and yeah. I like to think of it that way at least, you know?


 I guess this one wasn't so inspirational or anything, but hey, just a friendly reminder that God still knows what he's doing.

kay, cool.

((Hugs))

Emma Jane