Growing Pains and Bad Gardening

This year I have done a lot of growing. I'm not talking about my height, because that has yet to change since the 8th grade. I'm talking about my sooouulllll. (Please say that in a long, drawn-out accent)

With this soul growing, almost as if planting a seed, it was not easy. But you might say, "isn't it easy to grow things?" Well, young readers, I grew like my mom tries to grow plants- slowly, painfully, and sometimes by wilting over and falling to my doom. (My dad is the real gardener in the family).

My seed was planted in my heart at Camp Lone Star, and the flower has only slowly started to grow from there. (However, I'm figuring out that I'm a rose. There are still plenty of thorns on my slowly growing flower.)

In order to nourish this seed that was planted, I had to make a lot of difficult decisions. And let me tell you what, (insert hand on hip) I did not want to follow through with any of the conclusions that were brought to me. Every single thing that I needed to do in order to grow and take care of myself was absolutely worse than ripping off a band-aid. It might as well been like ripping off a layer of skin. However, for my flower to even blossom, I knew I needed to push past everything holding me back from a relationship with my God. Also, ya girl needed to learn what self-loving really was. So often I depended on someone else to be my water and sunlight, that I forgot how to provide these things myself and ultimately through my God.

Non-believers might say, "but Emma, why cut someone out or get rid of the things that stood in the way of this 'God' " Well, if you're not gonna be loving my Jesus with me, just realize that self love is important too and self-validation is as well. (Jesus gives us all the power to love ourselves because we're loved by him.)

To elaborate, I think self-validation is being able to feel comfortable in your own skin and truly believe that you're important. I know that I'm important because my God died for me on a cross, and loves me even though I can't stop screwing up. I realize that I was created to be beautiful and loved by my Maker. And you should too! Ladies, you were created to be lovely. You were created to be protected and loved. Don't you ever let anyone deter your relationship with Christ, or diminish your self-worth. I depend on Christ for all my worth, but a big part of me has to believe in myself with a confidence given to me by Christ.

So yes, I grew this summer. I realized what an impact Christ truly has in my life, but I also discovered my self worth. I've come to the overwhelming conclusion that I'm tired. I'm tired of letting myself be disrespected as a woman, and be disrespected as a Child of God. I'm realizing my importance as both of those things daily, and that's the rose that's starting to bloom. My sooouuullll is being nourished because Christ is the one who planted the seed in the very dirt of Camp Lone Star.

If you read all the way to the end, thank you so much :)

Please have a wonderful day and realize that you're very important as a human

James 1:12

Emma Jane