I don't know how to start this letter because of you. I also don't know how to do a lot of things with you in my life, but I've come to terms with it. I don't think I would ever be myself without your presence. If we'd never met, I wouldn't know the value of loving people. Thanks to you, I love deeply and passionately. I also endure passionate pain. The spectrum works both ways, but I can't be angry about it. Because of the unnecessary pain you bring, I value true joy that you allow me to see on the good days. I think people romanticize you; they romanticize the hurt you bring just so they can manipulate it into being a deep tumblr post. Let me inform you that, yes as tumblr as you are, you don't do that much good. Feeling alone shouldn't be something to brag about. Also, being bitter, dark, and scared shouldn't belong to you either, but it does. You are powerful and in charge of my good or bad days. Whether the scenario is made up or not. I don't know how to handle situations well, if at all, with you next to me. I've come to terms with the fact that I have to accept it. This is apart of who I am, and despite all of the loneliness, I know I'll find someone who can handle the both of us. You will bring me down, covered in tears, several times before that ever happens, but I look forward to the day where I forget that you exist. It's been a fun run so far, and you can tell that I'm obviously "thrilled" for many more years. Until they end, thank you for showing me what it looks like when you're gone, but also how to live when you're taking over. -Em
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