I don't write on here a lot when I am undeniably, inexplicitly, happy. But today I am. And I wanted to make a note of it. It might not last very long, but I'm choosing to believe it will. This blog has always been there for me, even though I don't know if anyone reads it necessarily. And it's a place where I have continued to grow, expressed such deep pain, and been able to find freedom within my writing and what I choose to show the world. Today, I am choosing to be vulnerable in a positive light.
I'm choosing to hope for the best.
I'm choosing to not sabotage something that is so sweet, wholesome, and makes me feel like dancing all of the time.
I don't want to mess things up with the person who reminds me of eating chocolate-covered strawberries and drinking a glass of lemonade on a summer day.
Do I have an overwhelming fear that I might say something or do something and scare him away? Of course. But I am going to enjoy every little moment that I get to have in the meantime.
I don't know what's going on really- but I do know that my heart races a little faster and I cannot wipe the stupid grin off my face.
Anyways, I turn 22 in a month exactly (whoop) but today I feel like I did when I was 12 and had a crush on a boy.
In this month before turning 22, I am going to choose to redeem the painful scars caused by men who were mean to me. I am going to move past the wounds of sexual assault and be someone who is not afraid of men (or to be cared for by one).
I am growing. I am absolutely glowing.
Oh, and Jesus loves you and has the sweetest things for you when you find your identity in Him.